Goals for 2010 February 5, 2010

I thought I’d write a bit about my goals for 2010.  Because it’s February, and everyone knows that February is the time when you let everyone know how you’ve already failed at keeping the goals you wrote down in January.  (Even worse, I found a post I wrote in January 2008 (yes, ‘08) about my goals for that year, and they are pretty much the same as my goals for this year.  Gulp.)

I recently read a book on organization by a Christian woman named Donna Otto.  The title was compelling–Secrets to Getting More Done in Less Time–and I found many helpful tips inside.  In the book, she urges women to write down their goals, which we’ve all heard before.  But she also urges women to look at their goals regularly after writing them down.  I’ve taken the first step, and I plan to put the goals inside the cover of my prayer notebook, which hopefully I’ll be opening daily (one of my goals).   So this will either go really well or really badly.

Otto suggests 8 areas to help you brainstorm your goals:  intellectual, physical, emotional, financial, social, spiritual, family and career.  Here are some of the goals I wrote down in these areas:

Intellectual–finish 3 non-fiction books (I’ve finished 2 already!)

Physical–exercise 3 times a week

Emotional–display the fruits of the Spirit to Noel and the kids (And apparently, yelling and grumpiness are not fruits of the Spirit.)

Financial–save money in areas of our budget where Noel asks me to do so

Social–have someone over for dinner once a month

Spiritual–spend time daily in God’s Word and develop a more disciplined prayer life

Family–spend time every week working with Will on pre-reading skills

Career–I don’t have one, but in this area, I’ve set the goal of writing a post on this blog every week.  Obviously, this isn’t happening yet!

Other–scrapbook at least one year’s worth of photos, start Sarah Kate’s baby book

Other than reading books to myself and to Will, none of these goals are going too well.  I’m hoping that by making them public to the 8 people who read this blog (hi, Mom!), it will provide some accountability and motivation.  I do feel like these are all areas in which I should be growing and progressing.  I don’t want to look back at this post in 2012 and be struggling with the same issues.  I want to look back on 2010 as the year that I developed a vibrant prayer life, learned huge lessons from God’s Word, applied them to my life, shared them with others, and served my family with joy.  (And if I happened to lose 5-8 pounds and finish a scrapbook along the way, that would be a bonus!)

Christmas By December 1 January 6, 2010

I tried something new this year.  Several weeks before my friend Karen wrote this post about simplifying Christmas, she wrote about how she and several friends encouraged each other to finish their Christmas shopping, wrapping and cards by December 1.  When I read that, I knew immediately that it would be a great idea for me.  Since having kids (maybe before, but I can’t remember life before kids), I find myself stressed out every December.  By Christmas day, I am exhausted and overwhelmed, I haven’t cracked a Bible open in weeks, and I know I’ve been too consumed by all the work to spend time talking to my children about Christ’s birth.  Not exactly how I should be preparing my heart or my family to celebrate the birth of our Savior!

This December, I was going to visit my sister and newborn nephew for 5 days right before Christmas, so I had already gotten an early start.  When I read Karen’s December 1 goal, I kicked it into high gear and got it done.  Here’s my timeline:

• Early October:  Asked for wish lists from family members
• Mid-October:  Started shopping (was almost entirely done by mid-November), using Amazon.com and other sites with free shipping to save time
• Late October:  Bought outfits for kids’ Christmas picture
• Early November:  Took Christmas card picture, updated Christmas card address list
• Mid-November:  Started wrapping gifts; wrote Christmas letter, got cards printed, got return address labels, stamps, etc.
• Thanksgiving week:  Addressed Christmas cards, finished wrapping gifts
• Weekend after Thanksgiving:  Decorated house, cards were ready to mail
• December:  Talked about Advent with the kids, Christmas crafts with kids, baking, holiday gatherings, school parties, cleaning, travelled to Utah

As you can see, December was still pretty full.  It was a little more chaotic than I thought it would be, due in part to my pre-Christmas travels.  But I knew it would have been so much worse if my shopping, wrapping and cards hadn’t been done!

Next year, I’d like to do some baking in October and put things in the freezer.  This year, I found myself constantly running to the store because I had to bake something for one of several holiday gatherings.  My friend Lynette made multiple batches of cinnamon rolls, froze them, and pulled a pan out for each gathering.  Genius!  I’m not a good freezer girl, so I’m going to experiment between now and October and find some things that freeze well and can serve as my signature item next December.

If you found yourself overwhelmed and exhausted this Christmas, consider joining me for the December 1 Challenge 2010!  Make a timeline now so you are ready in October or September or whenever you need to start to give yourself time to enjoy Advent and prepare your heart to celebrate Christ’s birth.  I want that to be my purpose:  not to impress others with my organizational skills or be the first Christmas card you receive, but to make time for me and my family to mediate on the incarnation, the Word made flesh, God coming to earth to save His people from their sins.

Broken Cisterns November 11, 2009

Have you ever noticed a period of time when every Bible study, every sermon, every life experience seems to revolve around the same theme?  It’s as if God tosses subtlety aside and very clearly says, “I want you to learn this!”  This has been happening to me lately.  And the message I’m getting loud and clear is:  Only God can satisfy me and provide the joy and peace that I need.  When I put my trust in other things, they will fail.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a very bad week.  I was sick, the kids were sick, we had a death in the family, and much, much more that I won’t go into now.  Trust me, it was a bad week.  The week was supposed to end with an overnight getaway for my hubby and me for my birthday.  We hadn’t been away overnight in a really long time, which means I hadn’t slept past 7:30 a.m. in a very long time.  So for about two months, I had my eye on October 25 as Sleeping In Day.  (Have I mentioned that I love, love, love sleeping in?)

Well, thanks to a 3-year-old with a high fever, we managed to get away for a few hours but decided to come home before the overnight (and sleeping in) part of the trip.  Rather than sleeping in and enjoying a day of outlet shopping with my hubby, I spent the day sitting at a doc-in-the-box clinic with a kid who had a fever of 104.  Good times .

In the midst of my bad day at the end of a bad week, I sat down to do my BSF lesson.  The lesson was on Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1-26).  In John 4:13-14, Jesus tells her:  “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Then I read Jeremiah 2:13:  “For my people have committed two evils:  they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

So the obvious lesson here is:  Marissa is hewing out broken cisterns of sleep that can hold no water.  If Marissa were satisfied in Christ, drinking in His living water, she wouldn’t be devastated by not getting to sleep in.  And you want to know how well I learned this lesson?  So well that 5 days later, when the same child started running a fever a few hours before Getaway Attempt #2, I threw a very impressive adult temper tantrum about it.  (We went anyway, but the sleeping in eluded me as I worried about my sick kid and the poor grandparents who were stuck taking care of him.)

The whole experience (and my awful reaction to it) has me thinking about broken cisterns in my life.  Those things–some good (sleep), some bad (complaining)–that I turn to for comfort when I’m stressed, worried, tired or sad.  Those things seem to make it better for awhile, but then after a few days (or hours, or minutes), I’m right back where I was before.

Here are some questions I’ve been asked by Bible study leaders and pastors in recent month–remember, God has to make a big deal of something these days to get me to notice it:

Do the people around you see that you are completely satisfied in Christ?  If not, then why? (Please, please do not ask Noel or my good friends this question.  Maybe you could ask someone who sees me about once a month with a happy smile on my face and well-behaved children?)

Where do you turn when things get difficult? Food, tv, complaining, gossip, shopping, time to yourself? (Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. and double Yes.)

Where are you placing your trust other than the Lord? (Sleep, money, and myself, just to name a few.)

When I put the answers to these last two questions together, my behavior really shows itself to be ridiculously silly, not to mention sinful.  When things get tough, I want to grab a piece of chocolate cake and take my mind off things with some brainless television.  So basically, I’m saying to the Sovereign, All-knowing, All-powerful Creator of the universe, “Thanks, God, but I think I’ll let this cake and this tv show solve my problem.”  And then I wonder why I struggle with the same thing again the next day.  Because it should be obvious . . . God is bigger than my problems.  Chocolate cake is not. Only God can make me more and more holy, conforming me to the image of Christ so that I can love others and glorify Him.

How I’d love to leave those broken cisterns behind and drink only of the living water, finding my deepest satisfaction in my Savior.  I know it will be a continuing struggle for me, but I’m thankful that God has knocked me over the head with this lesson. 

Why I’m not blogging much September 28, 2009

I find myself living on a runaway train these days.  I was on this runaway train right after Sarah Kate was born have jumped back on since school started.  Everything is a blur of diapers, meals, kissing boo-boos, settling toy disputes, carpool, overseeing various educational pursuits, paying the electric bill and sweeping the kitchen floor, and any coherent thought I have beyond what to make for dinner is so fleeting I’m not even sure it was there.  The runaway train isn’t bad–it is exactly what God has called me to in this season, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to much tangible productivity.  If this train should happen to make a stop at the Blogging Station, you’ll be the first to know.

How Deep the Father’s Love August 22, 2009

This summer I studied the attributes of God with a wonderful group of women using “Behold Your God” by Myrna Alexander.  (I highly, highly recommend this study.)  It amazes me how God ordained the events of the summer of 2009 for me and for my family, and He knew exactly what I would need to learn about Him in the midst of those circumstances.  He knows our every need and provides for them all!

One thing that stood out to me from the study is the nature of God’s love toward us.  God is perfectly loving and good, and He also does not and cannot change.  (See Jeremiah 31:3 and Malachi 3:6).  That means that God’s love for you is always exactly the same.  He is just as good to you today as the day He nailed your sin to the cross with His Son.  It is easy to flippantly say, “God is good all the time.”  But honestly, it feels like there are some days that God’s goodness is a little less prevalent in our lives.  With our narrow vision, with our earthly perspective of what is and isn’t good, God’s goodness seems to vary.

But when God tells us about Himself in Malachi 3:6, He says He does not change.  His goodness does not waver.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus–His perfect, steadfast, unchanging love.

I thought of this today as I was singing “How Deep The Father’s Love For Us.”  This is one of my all-time favorite songs.  It is a powerful reminder of the love God showed when He turned His face away from his dying Son in order to transform rebellious people like me into His sons and daughters.  And He shows me this exact same love and goodness every day of my life.  He is just as loving today as on the day He set me free from sin, guilt, death and hell.  Praise Him for this wonderful truth!

“How Deep the Father’s Love for Us”

Words and Music by Stuart Townend

How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure,

that He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away,

as wounds which mar the Chosen One bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon the cross, my sin upon His shoulders;

ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished;

His dying breath has brought me life–I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom;

but I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?  I cannot give an answer,

But this I know with all my heart; His wounds have paid my ransom.

A New Life Verse July 30, 2009

I think I have found my “Life Verse.”  I’ve never had a life verse before, but I know people who do.  The verses are usually very inspirational, something along the lines of reaching the nations or future generations for God.  Good stuff, really.  My favorite verse thus far is Romans 8:1, but it didn’t seem to fall into the Life Verse category.

But a couple of weeks ago when I was doing my Bible study (an awesome study of God’s attributes which deserves many, many blog posts that I don’t currently have time to write), I came across a verse I’ve never noticed before:

2 Chronicles 20:12:  We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

Some context for those of you who don’t have 2 Chronicles memorized:  King Jehoshaphat and the Israelites are watching multiple nations of enemies coming against them in battle.  They know there is no way they can defeat this multitude.  Jehoshaphat calls the people together, and they cry out to the Lord, asking what they should do.  It specifically mentions that they are all standing before the Lord, along with their wives and children.   Can you imagine this picture?  Standing there, clutching your children to you, watching the enemy come, knowing you are powerless against them and crying out to the Lord for help.  (To see how it ends, see 2 Chronicles 20.)

This has definitely become my Summer Verse, if not my Life Verse.  For one thing, this verse is very easy to memorize.  It rhymes and has lots of 2’s in the reference.  And if there is one theme in my life right now, it is that I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to encourage my 5-year-old to not become a prideful Pharisee who craves approval and does all the right things only when someone is watching.  (It takes one to know one, and that kid is just like me.)  I don’t know how to encourage my 3-year-old to put his poop in the potty rather than in his pants.  And I certainly don’t know how to encourage my sister-in-law as she battles the most formidable enemy we’ve faced in a long time:  breast cancer.

I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on the One who is my refuge and strength, an very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).  He promises His perfect wisdom is ours for the asking. (James 1:5).  He hems me in, behind and before, and lays His hand upon me (Psalm 139:5).  When my eyes are on Him, I can choose to be overwhelmed by His love and goodness toward me, rather than being overwhelmed by my circumstances.  (With thanks to my summer Bible study leader for this last thought.)

I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You.

Adventures in Couponing July 11, 2009

Several months ago, my husband started expressing his desire for us to start spending less and saving more.  (This may or may not have coincided with a certain Democrat being elected president and vowing to “reform” health care.  But that is another story for another blog.)  He has repeated this preposterous suggestion many, many times.  And every time, my flesh (sinful nature) has done a good job of ignoring it.  After all, his job is pretty secure, he’s not making less money than he did a year ago–why should we cut back?  Shouldn’t I be doing my part to stimulate the economy and support my local retailers?  (I really want Gymboree to survive this economic turmoil.)  It seemed crazy for my husband to ask me to make sacrifices, and not even so I could use the saved money for something fabulous, like an iPhone or a cleaning lady.  Just for the sake of spending less and saving more.  He must be nuts, right?

After some conversations with my wonderful friends (if you don’t have godly, truth-speaking friends in your life, may I suggest you get some immediately?), I realized that this was a huge area of disobedience in my life.  My husband is asking me to do something.  He is not asking me to sin.  In fact, the thing he is asking me to do is perfectly reasonable, probably a good idea, and (gulp) would be glorifying God by thinking less about my own selfish desires.  I knew it was time for the S-word:  submission.  I couldn’t bring myself to submit right away, so I started by praying that God would convict me and enable to submit and obey.  And then I turned to my local expert on honoring your husband by spending less money:  my friend Lynette.

I’ve been giving Lynette my coupons out of the Sunday paper for months.  I had no idea what she was doing with them, but I knew I needed to find out.  I broke the sad news to her that she would no longer be getting my coupons and asked her to share her secrets with me.  Thankfully, she is very supportive of my saving money AND my submitting to my husband!  She taught me a few key strategies:

1.  Stop being married to specific brands.  I was shocked when I compared the shampoo I usually buy with some much cheaper alternatives.  I’ve been having shampoo tunnel vision for months, and my hair doesn’t even look that great.

2.  Track the cost of items that you buy on a regular basis.  When they go on sale, stock up.

3.  Keep your coupons from the Sunday paper, and then use blogs such as Common Sense With Money, Money Saving Mom and NWA Deals to find out how to maximize your savings by combining coupons with low sale prices.

4.  Don’t be afraid to shop at Aldi.  (I haven’t conquered this one yet.  Maybe when the kids go back to school in the fall, and I don’t have to take three kids with me everywhere I go.)

This concept of combining sales and coupons is amazing!  It is definitely worth spending some time on.  In my first week, check out what I got . . . serious bargain-hunting bloggers always take a photo:

Pringles for 49 cents, family-size boxes of Special K for $2.50 each, Edy’s ice cream for $1.33 each, and deodorant for 38 cents!  I also got a pint of Starbucks ice cream for 50 cents, but I gave that to my sister-in-law, because seriously, how much ice cream does a girl need when she has baby weight to lose?!?

Back when I was just dipping my toe into the pool of obedience but not ready to jump in, I read on a stay-at-home mom’s blog that she thinks that her job is to save her family as much money as possible.  I thought, “Poor thing.  My job is much more enjoyable–spending our family’s money and having fun doing it.  Oh, wait . . . hmm, maybe that isn’t supposed to be my job . . . oh bummer, this woman is right!”  Now I have a new view on my job description, though sometimes I miss my old job.   I can’t wait to see what my new strategies will accomplish when it comes to lowering our spending, and (more importantly) pleasing my husband and letting him know that what’s important to him is important to me.  I want to honor my husband with my spending, following the example given to us as women in Proverbs 31:

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10-11

Unthankfulness July 1, 2009

Do you know how many times my children have opened their dresser drawers and exclaimed, “Clean clothes!  Washed, dried, folded and put in my drawer!  Way to go, Mom!  Thank you!”

Zero.  Usually, all I hear is, “When are you going to wash my Transformer pj’s?”  Sound familiar?

When I read Jerry Bridge’s chapter on Unthankfulness (see previous post on his book Respectable Sins), I realized that I must look the same way to God as my kids do to me.  God has done so much for me and continues to sustain me every day, and I seldom stop to thank Him.  God has rescued me from guilt, sin and death by delivering me from the domain of darkness and transferring me to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14).  He has blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).  In addition to spiritual blessings, He has given me every ability or skill I have, a loving husband, three healthy children, friends, a home, possessions, food . . . everything I have comes from Him.

How often do I thank God for my mini-van?  For the ability to go to the store when we run low on food?  For the privelege of gathering with other Christians openly every Sunday to hear the Word of God preached?  It is not often that I exhibit a sincere attitude of thankfulness.

I read an article on happiness recently in Good Housekeeping magazine.  It said that when we buy something we want, we have a high level of satisfaction, but only for a very short time.  We quickly become used to having that item around and take it for granted, and our sights turn to the next item we want.  This is so true in my life.  I remember last year, when I desperately wanted to replace the ceiling fan over our dining room table with a beautiful chandelier.  Finally, I got my chandelier, and I loved it.  For about a week, I looked at it all the time and felt happy and thankful.  Now, how often do you think I still notice my beautiful chandelier?  Pretty much never.  Rather than being thankful for what I have, I turn my attention to that sofa I’d like to replace.

Jerry Bridges reminded me in this chapter that my unthankfulness is a sin.  Sound harsh?  It’s true.  In Ephesians 5:20, we see the command to give “thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Bridges writes, “Failure to give Him the thanks due to Him is sin.  It might seem like a benign sin to us because it doesn’t harm anyone else.  But it is an affront and insult to the One who created us and sustains us every second of our lives.”

Bridges also writes about giving thanks in ALL circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18).  This is a personal challenge for me right now, as someone I love very much is facing a battle with cancer.  I found comfort in Bridges’ discussion of this topic, encouraging us that giving thanks in difficult circumstances can only be done by faith in the promises of God.  We can only obey I Thessalonians 5:18 because we know Romans 8:28 is true:  For we know for those who love God all things work together for good.  In the midst of heartache, we can thank God for the good we know He can accomplish through any circumstance.

Being Mindful of God June 19, 2009

Our Sunday school class is studying “Respectable Sins” by Jerry Bridges.  I highly recommend it.  His basic premise is that, as Christians, we condemn “big sins” such as adultery or abortion, but we tolerate certain “respectable sins” in our own lives, such as worry, gossip, discontentment, pride, worldliness, etc.

The first so-called respectable sin Bridges discusses is ungodliness, which he defines as “living one’s every day life with little or no thought of God, or of God’s will, or of God’s glory, or of one’s dependence on God” (p. 54).  He writes, “Let us then seek to be as mindful of [God] as He is of us.”  This was very convicting for me, as I fear all of these chapters will be.  Psalm 139 tells us that God is extremely mindful of us.  He knows our every action, our every thought.  He created every cell in our bodies.  It makes sense that the creature should be just as mindful of the Creator as the Creator is of her.  But looking at my life, I see that I fall short in so many ways.

It is easy to be mindful of God on Sunday or even during the 15 minutes that I may or may not carve out of my day in order to not look stupid this Thursday at Bible study.  It isn’t hard to be mindful of God when life’s crises bring you to your knees and you know you have no answer but Him.  But it is oh so difficult to be mindful of God when my child has disobeyed me for the 300th time and it isn’t even 9:30 a.m.  Or when my three-year-old still won’t use the potty.  Or when the baby is screaming, the boys are fighting, and dinner still needs to be made.  And then hubby calls and says he will be late . . . almost never does mindfulness of God enter into my reaction at that moment!  And what a difference it would make if I were living in those moments with more awareness of God’s presence, His glory, and my dependence on Him.

A Mother of Three May 28, 2009

Wow, it has been a really long time since I’ve posted to this blog!  If anyone out there is still reading, thanks for sticking with me.  For any of you who don’t know me personally, I’m happy to announce that my daughter, Sarah Kate, was born on April 27.  She is healthy, a great sleeper, and very snuggly and sweet.  She has already captured the hearts of her two older brothers.  (Although her arrival may or may not have anything to do with Will deciding he is no longer going to use the potty.)

I have to admit, I was very anxious about Sarah Kate’s first few weeks.  I struggled a lot after my last baby (Will) was born–I was a mess emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.  I was hopeful that things would be different this time around, mostly because when my boys were born, I was not consistently in God’s Word.  Thankfully, by God’s grace, I have a more sure foundation this time around.

Now, one month into this grand adventure of life with three kids, I can see God’s faithfulness to our family in so many ways.  Sarah Kate’s first week was rough from a sleeping perspective . . . she was happy to sleep during the day but not at all interested in sleeping at night.  My husband had taken that first week off, so he was a huge help to me in the middle of the night.  I was terrified to think what would happen when he went back to work and couldn’t be up all night, every night with Sarah Kate and me.  But the night before he went back to work, Sarah Kate figured out that nighttime is for sleeping.  And our nights have been very manageable ever since!  God knows what we can handle, and He won’t give us a smidge more than that.

Not to keep harping on sleep (but we all know it is one of the only things a mother of a newborn can think about), but since that first week, Sarah Kate has been a great sleeper.  And our few difficult nights have usually been followed by a day when someone else is helping me with the boys and I am able to rest.  I have seen God’s hand providing for my need for sleep over and over again.

I’ve found that the most difficult thing for me right now is juggling the needs of the three kids during the day.  My temper is short and patience is lacking.  There have been some really ugly days.  I alternate between moments of overwhelming gratitude and seeing God’s faithfulness, and moments (okay, sometimes hours) of discontentment and longing for life to feel normal.  I’ve been praying for wisdom, self-control and patience this week, and God has been providing.  I know this will continue to be a struggle for me.  I am constantly being called to die to myself and my selfish desires and lay down my life for my kids.  It hurts sometimes, but God provides the strength to do it, and He is glorified by our obedience!